Ten Tips for Those Who Care (Taken from an article by Steven Propst, in the BP Hope Magazine - http://www.bphope.com/insidefall2005issue.php
Steven is BP)
1. Never Give Up Hope: There is one piece of advice for anyone who loves someone with bipolar disorder – keep the faith and never give up.
2. Take Some Time: With bipolar disorder there are simply no quick fixes. The road to recovery is not a straight shot; it’s a winding path with delays, downtimes, and detours. Progress takes time. Be patient.
3. Face the Facts: Be willing to acknowledge that bipolar disorder is a legitimate, organic disorder. Saying something like, “It’s all in your head,” or “Just snap out of it,” denies that reality. As with diabetes or cancer, BP requires medical treatment and management. It is frequently unpredictable and can be gut-wrenching and scary.
4. Adopt the Right Attitude: The last thing a patient needs is misguided thinking coming from family and friends. More support is needed, not more shame. All too often, family members make a loved one feel as though it isn’t bipolar but rather a character flaw or something brought on by that person. Such thinking is harmful to the person facing BP who needs constructive feedback not destructive rhetoric.
5. Get Educated: People with BP often deny that anything is wrong and frequently don’t stay on their medications. It’s important to learn about these and other nuances of the disorder. An educated family member or friend is the best advocate and greatest source of support.
6. Treat Us Like Adults: Please remember that while someone who has BP may act like a child, there is an adult underneath. The world of the person who has BP can be full of chaos and confusion and low self-esteem. It can make a big difference when you continue to acknowledge and show respect for the grown human who is struggling behind all of the symptoms.
7. Give Us Some Space: Set boundaries and establish consequences that encourage those who have BP to seek recovery on their own, all the while expressing your concern and willingness to help. Be supportive, patient, and understanding – without being used. Effective encouragement is helpful; enabling is not.
8. Forget the Past: Focus on helping make tomorrow better. Make happy memories.
9. Take Care of Yourself: It’s important to develop coping skills. Only if you take care of yourself can you help.
10. Find a Healthy Balance: There are so many questions – “How much should I be willing to do?” “Should I use tough love?” “How long should we wait before we intervene?” BP is like walking a tightrope sometimes. You have to find a healthy balance when it comes to the support you offer. Learn to take things in stride, one day at a time. The more you know, the better equipped you are to offer the type of support that can make a positive difference.