This is where I have a lot more to learn, I know.
Since I’m a family member my focus is on finding out what I can do to help my son.
First of all you have to LEARN ALL YOU CAN about this disorder. Knowledge is power in this case. Check out the web pages I have linked to on the left - that is where I got this information.
Family is an important part of the treatment team and recovery process, but if your child is an adult you may not be able to speak with their Dr. without their permission. That is very interesting to me. I think as family members, we have so much we could tell the Dr. or counselors about what is going on, how our son is behaving, how much he is sleeping and eating, etc., and often they don’t ask, don’t allow us to speak to them because he is an ‘adult’. Well, he’s a very sick adult and when he’s not thinking clearly I feel we should be a very important resource for them in finding the appropriate treatment for him.
Fortunately for us our son agreed to let us speak to the Dr. and was open to me going to an appointment with him. I’m glad I have access to the Dr. now and can call him with concerns. If your adult child does not give consent for the Dr. to speak with you, you can still tell the Dr. whatever you think he needs to know. You can fax or send them information you feel might be important. I didn’t know that until someone told me. You can give them information, they just can’t give you any.
If your child is prescribed medication, find out what you can about it and the side effects it may have. I like this web site where you can see how treatments have been rated: http://www.remedyfind.com/hc-Bipolar.asp
This is the part I have to keep reminding myself of when his behavior is hurtful or disturbing:
“When ill, people with mood disorders can behave in ways that exaggerate or are out of keeping with their normal personality. When manic they may overspend or engage in sexual indiscretions. This causes a loss of trust, hurt, and embarrassment. They may also become more critical and sarcastic and say things that can be very hurtful.
Try to remember that this is a consequence of illness and not intent. Though it is difficult, don’t take comments made during the illness phase personally. However, it is important to talk about how their behaviour affected you when the episode of illness has passed . While the harm caused may not be intentional, it can still hurt. Opening up communication and restoring trust can take time. If your relationships are suffering, seek out the support of a trained counsellor.
Recovery takes time:
If someone you loved were hit by a bus and immobilized in a body cast you would not expect them to get out of bed and go to work. A serious episode of mania or depression can be just as disabling. It takes time to recover so be patient. Excessive demands, critical communications, and impatience can actually slow the process of recovery.
However, doing too much for the person or setting low expectations can also re-enforce their sense of worthlessness and incompetence. Treat them like an adult. Set reasonable expectations for participation in family responsibilities and work together to accomplish tasks. Your gentle encouragement, and praise for efforts made, goes a long way to help healing. Look for the good things that happen. Be patient, the illness will lift with time, care, and treatment.” Karen Largent
Nutrition: There are some good studies pointing to nutrition being a valuable help in treatment. Some were able to reduce or stop taking medications. This is a good web page with information about that: http://www.mcmanweb.com/article-113.htm and you can find plenty of others if you search.
Instead of just whining about what I’m going through I want to share some of the things I’ve learned. That’s the main reason I’m doing this – to help anyone else who might be experiencing this right now. Because I feel like I’m doing it alone sometimes and that’s not fun. Later I’ll share some of the history and background of this journey we’re on. It’s a journey to a strange place, a journey I don’t want to be taking, but a journey we’re on nevertheless.
What is Bipolar disorder?
Bipolar disorder, is a serious brain disorder. Also known as manic-depressive illness, it is a mental illness involving episodes of serious mania and depression. The person’s mood usually swings from overly “high” and irritable to sad and hopeless, and then back again, with periods of normal mood in between.
Bipolar disorder typically begins in adolescence or early adulthood and continues throughout life. It is often not recognized as an illness and people who have it may suffer needlessly for years or even decades.
Bipolar Disorder is a disorder of mood caused by a chemical imbalance in the frontal lobe of the brain. During a manic episode, there is increased activity in the frontal lobe.
People with bipolar disorder are at risk of death - either by dangerous behavior in the manic state or by suicide in the depressive state.
What causes bipolar disorder? They don’t have all of the answers yet, but it does tend to run in families and may have some genetic predispositions.
Our son was addicted to dextromathorphan (found in cough syrups and called a Robo addiction because of the link to Robitussin Cough Syrup, which is available over the counter, by the way). He’s also an alcoholic and uses other drugs. Alcohol and many drugs are central nervous system depressants, which can lead to the development of mental illness. For some people alcohol and drug use is an attempt to ‘self medicate’ to alleviate the discomfort of depression or seek greater thrills during a manic high.
With Dual Diagnosis (see below) it’s kind of the chicken and the egg sort of deal. They’re not always sure if the addictive behaviors are a result of the disorder or vice versa.
Here are the symptoms of a ‘manic episode’. My son has them all, some worse than others.
• euphoria, feeling “high”
• agitation, edginess, irritability, restlessness
• racing thoughts, talkativeness
• increased energy, sleeplessness - some nights he gets less than 4 hours of sleep.
• inflated self-esteem; grandiosity; poor judgment
• reckless spending sprees or other activities with high potential for painful consequences - uncharacteristically poor judgement
• delusions or hallucinations - unrealistic beliefs in one’s abilities and powers
• drug or alcohol use - this is very often a problem with bipolar disorder. They go together about 2/3 of the time.
• increased sexual drive
• aggressive behavior - obnoxious or provocative behavior
• inability to concentrate well
In some ways, having a name for all of this helps. I’m still at the beginning stages of learning and I don’t yet know what my role is and how I can help him on his road to recovery. I found another good website (Thank you God, for the internet and the opportunity to access this wealth of information.) at http://www.nami.org/
I found a local number and spoke to a real woman who told me all about local classes and support groups and she’s going to send me some information. She was very nice and it was good to speak with someone who knows what I’m going through. I’m sure I’ll get involved in the classes and/or support groups. I’ve asked my son if he would consider a support group and he said he might give it a try. I hope he will and I hope it will be good or he won’t go back.
Dual Diagnosis - this is also my son. I used to think it meant being addicted to more than one substance at a time. I’m learning.
This information is from the NMHA web page at http://www.nmha.org/infoctr/factsheets/03.cfm
What is Dual Diagnosis?
A person who has both an alcohol or drug problem and an emotional/psychiatric problem is said to have a dual diagnosis. To recover fully, the person needs treatment for both problems.
How Common Is Dual Diagnosis?
• Thirty-seven percent of alcohol abusers and fifty-three percent of drug abusers also have at least one serious mental illness.
• Of all people diagnosed as mentally ill, 29 percent abuse either alcohol or drugs.
Which Develops First - Substance Abuse or the Emotional Problem?
It depends. Often the psychiatric problem develops first. In an attempt to feel calmer, more peppy, or more cheerful, a person with emotional symptoms may drink or use drugs; doctors call this “self-medication.” Frequent self-medication may eventually lead to physical or psychological dependency on alcohol or drugs. If it does, the person then suffers from not just one problem, but two. In adolescents, however, drug or alcohol abuse may merge and continue into adulthood, which may contribute to the development of emotional difficulties or psychiatric disorders.
In other cases, alcohol or drug dependency is the primary condition. A person whose substance abuse problem has become severe may develop symptoms of a psychiatric disorder: perhaps episodes of depression, fits of rage, hallucinations, or suicide attempts.
What is the Role of the Patient’s Family in Treatment?
With both rehabilitation for substance abuse and treatment for a psychiatric problem, education, counseling sessions, and support groups for the patient’s family are important aspects of overall care. The greater the family’s understanding of the problems, the higher the chances the patient will have a lasting recovery.
How Can Family and Friends Help with Recovery from a Psychiatric Condition?
They should be calm and understanding, rather than frightened or critical. They should be warm and open, rather than cool or cautious.
There Is Hope
As a relative or friend, you can play an important role in encouraging a person to seek professional diagnosis and treatment. By learning about dual diagnosis, you can help this person find and stick with an effective recovery program.
The more you know about dual diagnosis, the more you will see how substance abuse can go hand-in-hand with another psychiatric condition. As with any illness, a person with dual diagnosis can improve once proper care is given. By seeking out information, you can learn to recognize the signs and symptoms of dual diagnosis - and help someone live a healthier or more fulfilling life.
Dual diagnosis is one of the most difficult conditions to treat. Three things must be addressed - 1. The substances have to be controlled so the mood disorder can be properly diagnosed. 2. The mood disorder needs to be managed. 3. Life stresses need to be managed. Right now our son has all 3 of these completely out of control. His recovery will take time, love, patience, support, perseverance, prayer. He’ll need all the help he can get!
Oct. 3 - We went to our first Family to Family support group through NAMI tonight and I liked it. At first I didn’t think I would because the teachers were just reading the material to us, but as people began sharing it was good. Everyone there is dealing with a different disorder, but we all have something in common - our families are affected strongly by it. It’s just good to sit with a group of people who are there - who have been there.
I liked this from the material on Dual Diagnosis - it’s very good:
“When family members we love become addicted, they can no more resist using alcohol or drugs than they can willfully “cure” themselves from their biological brain disorder. People stricken solely with mental illness often struggle wtih life at the edge; having a dual diagnosis is life at the edge with someone trying to push you off.
The best response is empathy and compassion, rather than moralizing.
Successful treatment requires trust-building, the establishment of safety, stabilization of the mental illness, and finally, sobriety. This prescription is a tall order….
Also, the hallmarks of addiction treatment - confrontation, insistence on sobriety, willingness to let someone hit bottom to find motivation, can gravely endanger people with serious mental illness.
The new approach is integrated treatment, where the same doctor, or team, treats both disorders at the same time. In this model, initial sobriety is not expected; the treatment plan calls for a long period of engagement to educate clients about subtance abuse and stabilize their mental illness….”
My biggest struggle is always where to draw the line. How do I know what is helping and what is hurting? I think it’s good to know that we can draw a line, but it’s also helpful to read these things and learn. And maybe we’ll learn more about where the line should be, more about loving and supporting instead of trying to fix.
